This isn't a stock photo, I shot it today. Our sons and I hiked up to watch the first sunrise of 2023 this morning.
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I don't know what they were thinking, but I was thinking that optimism might be just as powerful as discipline and commitment. Optimism lets us take on new challenges without realizing how hard they'll be. Optimism lets us do it again, and again, and again even when they didn't work out the last time.
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If resolutions are your thing, optimism is what lets us make them every year, even if they didn't stick last year. But isn't a month of a new resolution every year better than none of that new resolution? A realist might skip resolutions because they won't stick, an optimist will make them over and over again... maybe that's how we make progress.
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Without travel I had a chance to look with new eyes at the things around me. Here are some of my favorite photos from 2020.

It was a strange year. I’m craving new places, people, adventures. Looking back through these photos is bittersweet. There are some wonderful moments captured. Time I spent with my very favorite people ( my husband and our boys), but they also remind me of the days in early March full of agitated uncertainty and yet a confidence that this would all be over in a few months.  10 months later the monotony of it all can feel overwhelming some days.

These are some of my favorite photos of 2020 some because they put me back in a moment of joy and connection, some because I love the photo itself.

Most of the photos I took this year are at home and family, but my family will only tolerate being photographed so much.  Many are of nature, I was forced to practice looking for beauty in my everyday surroundings. A lot are of our dog, he never tires of being photographed.  Finally a few are of the few and far between shoots I had for the podcast and for Spartan Games - all at a distance and all outside - but a welcome variation in my routine.
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I love these events for the incredible expressions of drive, will, strength, and determination written across the faces of the athletes and for the images they create.  

So... the home haircut didn't quite turn out as planned.  But it provided a few of the best laughs we've shared as a family since COVID times began!
The good news:
1. His beautiful smile is even more visible
2. Hair grows back
​3. Mac is a great sport, with a great sense of humor who doesn't let the little things like an unintended shaved head get him down.

We're not waiting to get back to life.
We are living. 
This IS life. 
Not life as we expected it to be.
But life as it is. 
Life is a gift.
A sunny day is an even greater gift.

Breakfast with "Grumpy" and Trooper and an afternoon in the sun. 

Followed by family "dinner out."

I had a quick (socially distanced) meet up with Sefra to shoot some podcast intros. I've missed people!

I do feel a little heartbreak on their behalf - at a time in life when they should be spreading their wings they are pushed back into the nest.  But it's just a speed bump in the story of their lives.

And - they are learning a set of skills that will set them up for life.  The skills of the "digital nomad." If you can work independently, digitally, you can work wherever and whenever you want.  You need to have work that can be done virtually, you need the ability to manage your own time and deadlines interspersed with scheduled meetings and phone calls, and you need a sufficient self drive.

Their school right now is very much like 80% of my work.

Of course I look forward to the day when we are all able to be more human and social again, but it the meantime I'm focusing on what can be learned.  What we learn is not always in the classes we take or the books we read, but in the way we live.

Today I'm taking a moment to appreciate the incredible craftsmanship my kids put into this hobby.

Today - true simple pleasures. There is nothing that makes me happier than our family working together on a project.  Especially when I know my husband is passing on a little of his practical knowledge to the boys. In this case about winches, come-alongs and pump jacks.  But also about solving mechanical problems. About being innovative, self reliant, and safe with machines and heavy weights.

We're starting our first spring in the new house, and they are building me a raised bed ... which means I'll be trying to grow a few things.

Trooper was on hand to supervise.

 The Spartan VP of content and I were talking (by talking I mean we exchanged abbreviated text messages.) We noted that teens, and parents of teens, seem to be invisible in the media right now. Here's the letter I wrote for publication on the Spartan site.  ( Spartan published the article 4/23)

I had a great day. Hope you did too.

What's on my mind this morning:

... and what's on his:

This is what life is.  Laughter.  Laughter with people you love.  This part is utterly the same as any other time. 

​Without trips, without visits, without school, meets or appointments the days blur together. There is a sameness to the days.  A grinding monotony I have never been good with. 7 days a week we  do out Spartan Up zoom chats. No matter how much I edit, I never get ahead.

The days blend one to the next in a confusing muddle of sameness. Maybe that's the work. To be Ok with that.  To learn to focus on the moments that stand out.  . 

Inspired by Grandma Roo's annual Easter gatherings we decided to try making our own Easter Eggs:

It's really about the process, but here are the results:

Its the one big outing - a trip to the grocery store.  Today most people wore masks.  The store limited the number of people inside at once.  The line outside spread thin with 6' between shoppers.  I took photos of the empty shelves because they are remarkable ... new and different for us, but other than toilette paper, bleach and some of the brands we like they had more than enough of everything.

I just didn't feel right.  It was a tough day.  Maybe not enough sleep. Maybe it was the natural progression of this strange experience we're all living through.  I spoke to a few people who had a tough time Friday. Here, in Vermont, life is easy.  We have space. We have food. The number of cases is still low.  There's no tragedy, no emergency to respond to.  In fact it feels self indulgent to complain at all when many people are truly suffering. And yet there is this slow incessant mix of isolation and friction. Monotony and frustration.  And a sense that we're removed from the outside world.

 But when I sit down to compile today's entry and I look through the photos from the last few days I see, even in the midst of a funk, there is normal and accomplishment and even laughter.  It makes me smile again reliving those good momements.

A friend confessed to me that she had called her young daughter a name she deeply regretted.  Another said "I thought I was the kind of person who was strong enough, but maybe I'm not."  It's important to share the stories.  It's not easy every day.  But we just keep marching.  Pick our heads up.  Look for the bright spots and hold them in focus. And know that a few months really isn't that long.

A lot is different, but some things aren't. Thursday's ​the boys take turns making dinner. Every day we run. Every day the dog needs to go out...again...and again...

Grandma's "art" challenge.  This week a narrative ballad or a still life.

It's not the greatest photo, but I love the image of my mom on a virtual call using her dictionary. 

If you're not familiar with the game of "fictionary" here's how it works: one player finds a word in the dictionary that no one knows the definition of.  That player writes the actual definition on a slip of paper, each of the other players writes a fake definition on a slip of paper and anonymously drops it into a bowl.  The first player reads all the definitions out loud and the we all try to guess the correct definition.  There's a point system based on guessing the right definition or tricking others into choosing yours...but that's really not the point.

We figured out last night that we could set up a zoom call on the ipad and text each other definitions, so we played a few rounds with Grandma Roo.

We did our first ever virtual podcast interview today too.  Joe had a great conversation with James Altucher while his engineer Jay and I listened in. 

... and just like a TV news anchor - no one can see that I'm wearing sweats and pink slippers below the view of the camera.

I'm grateful for the virtual connections, but there is something deep within me that craves in person visiting.  There's a lot of conversation about how the world will be different.  How people will realize so much commuting and office time is wasted.  I think that's true.  But I also think we will all come out of this with a greater value on real, in person, human connection.